The Comfort of Art

The holiday season is upon us once again. The neighbors have decorated their homes. Department stores are playing Mariah Carey and Pentatonix on repeat. We have even gotten more snow in a Chicagoland December than I can remember in the last few years. I take solace in the holiday celebrations. They're warmth in the winter months. However, as everyone comes together to celebrate, there are parts of my brain that cannot help but dwell on the supposed differences between myself and those around me. It's not fair, but it happens nonetheless.

It is in this dwelling that I notice the looming dark cloud of loneliness rippling overhead. One formed by feelings of... being left behind, so to speak. I love my friends. I love the family I still hold close. Yet, it seems impossible for my brain to not compare itself to the progress of others. I hear about new jobs, new relationships, new personal developments. I feel an immense pride for them but my brain just relishes the opportunity to nudge at my side and say, "See? Why can't you do that?" Now, I am not without things I am proud of myself for. Whether it be still writing for this blog, reading more, or working on a game. My brain is, at the very least, capable of some pride. So, I have that going for me!

As I sat alone, on a day where I felt that dark cloud drawing too much of my attention, I decided to play Knights of the Old Republic 2. It was a game I had never played start to finish, and I adore the first one. I quickly became engrossed in the world and characters. I let myself fall into the trappings of dialogue choices, mulling over each one as I decided what kind of character I wanted to play. The feeling of the cloud dulled. What better way to combat loneliness than a story to lose yourself in.

So, as everyone celebrates the holidays, I wanted to remind both myself and those who have a cloud of their own that they may not be as alone as they feel. I've decided to discuss with some dear friends their favorite pieces of art that bring comfort and joy, even at times where such a thing seems impossible.

Mary

Mary and I are constantly discussing random pieces of art and storytelling. So, when I began asking her questions, I had a bit of confidence that I would know her answers. Perhaps it was a sort of pride that I knew one of my best friends well enough. However, in classic Mary fashion, she expanded on her answers in ways that left me thinking of the pieces she spoke about differently (in the best way possible).

She began by telling me about her love for Lord of the Rings. "It’s beautiful, earnest, has a gorgeous soundtrack, and transports me back to being a wide-eyed fantasy fan in middle school, watching what would soon become one of my favorite movies," she said. Mary is one hundred percent one of the reasons I fell in love with both the Lord of the Rings trilogy and the fantasy genre. I had grown up more fascinated with sci-fi and my dark secret is that I had never seen a Lord of the Rings movie in full before I met her. I had only ever seen the third Hobbit movie in theaters before I ever made the trek into viewing the original jaw-dropping trilogy. So, I have to thank her for that.

What she told me next was unexpected, but deeply understandable. "When I’m very stressed, I turn to horror. I read and re-read a lot of Steven King when I was on maternity leave - both times! - and watched Alien and The Thing. There’s something about horror that gives your fear and anxiety a place to escape to, so it comforts without being inherently comforting." I cocked my head at that, coupled with a curious, "hm." I hadn't necessarily thought about the horror genre like that, but it was such a wonderful way to view it. The characters are not only right there with you in the stress department, but you know, for the most part, why you're scared. Plus, so many classic horror movies showcase triumph at their end. I'll always let out an involuntary cheer, perhaps a, "let's fucking go," when Ripley ejects the xenomorph into space in Alien.

Mary's love for fantasy developed during her childhood. Always wanting to read the same books as her mother, she picked up a Dragonlance novel and it snowballed from there. Though, her consumption of horror became far more prominent in adulthood. "I liked horror before then but didn’t see it as a release valve until I was going through IVF, and body horror suddenly became pretty important to me. That’s not all I’m into, of course. I can throw down with a romcom, especially around the holidays. It just depends on what kind of comfort I’m after," she told me. On a daily basis we feel a myriad of emotions, and given how chaotic the world is, it can be hard to manage. Art can act as a medicine, with each piece mending different afflictions.

The final question I had for Mary concerned what she would watch or play during the holiday season to maintain good spirits. She said, "I’m seriously considering a Skyrim run for the cozy winter vibes (and lots of fun magic). Love Actually and Muppet’s Christmas Carol are holiday staples." As with any conversation I have with her about movies or games or television, I now want to watch the Muppets Christmas Carol and download an absurd amount of mods for Skyrim. I will also be sending her a text with the words, "this is your fault," because nobody inspires me to engage with art like Mary. How lucky I am to call her a friend.

Ryan

Ryan is someone I've known for a little over a decade. He unfortunately knew how I was as a teenager, though he has begrudgingly stuck around if only to beg me to play Disco Elysium (I'm trying my best). I have a lot to thank this man for, whether it be accompanying me to functions we both get overstimulated at or expanding my music-listening-horizons and influencing more than half of the albums I am now obsessed with. It was a layup to include him here.

Something I can say about Ryan with full confidence is that he loves Dragon Quest. It's another series he begs me to play (my backlog is in shambles) and there is an unbridled joy he has when given the excuse to discuss it. "It all has to do with the character writing. In Dragon Quest games, your party members aren’t just the people who travel with you, they are your comrades, companions, and for a short while, effectively your family. They initially come off as tropes, but slowly reveal themselves to be good-natured people with genuine flaws and traumas. XI’s protagonist, meanwhile, is frankly a bit of a lovable loser. In the early hours of the game, he is ostracized from society without much explanation, and it’s only because of the compassion, loyalty, and love of those other party members that he’s able to make it through," he said. "It says a lot that some of the best memories I have of the game are sitting around one of the world’s many campfires and just talking with these characters for a few minutes. It’s fun to just hang out with them!"

When I had asked if character writing was a consistent thing he finds in games he adores, he agreed. He expressed disdain for games that feel like lectures, favoring stories with believable characters that guide us through a theme rather than have a theme guide the characters. About Dragon Quest, he said, "Erik, the twins, Sylvando, Jade, and Rab each have their own unique motivations for joining the party but share a common goal: protect the Luminary, protect their friend. Each have their own personal struggles, and we see them grapple with these and support each other in real time. The story’s conflicts become more personal for the player, and its themes arise organically rather than being told to you outright. I always walk away from this type of game feeling like I’ve been tricked into reading good literature." I chuckled at the final sentence. I have seen many arguments online discounting games as a medium, saying that they do not hold the same sophistication and importance as literature. Though, they absolutely could be. It's a different strategy for storytelling, with so many of its own moving parts. The music, animation, level design, gameplay. These all work with the writing to make for a beautiful world and story that draws you in. To put it colloquially, Ryan believes Dragon Quest has the sauce.

In the final days of the holiday season, Ryan said he had some big plans for catching up on his media backlog. "I love me some Benoit Blanc. So, you bet I’ll be watching Wake Up Dead Man and talking about it with my friends. As for games, I’ve got a bunch I want to try to finish before 2026, including Metroid Prime 4, DK Bonanza, and Oblivion Remastered. It’ll be fun to finally revisit the Shivering Isles after all my years away." He could be one of the few people I know that have potentially a far more extensive backlog of movies, music, games, and shows to catch up on. So, nervously, I wish him luck with that task. 

Also, I swear I will play Dragon Quest. I mean, come on. Look at this:

Marie

Marie is someone I've known for a few years now, and since then she has both helped to improve my writing and edit so much of my work. No one knows my writing better than she does. For Marie, nothing gets her more excited than when I bring up pieces of art that she adores. Whether it be Lord of the Rings, Star Trek, Disco Elysium. I've enjoyed every discussion we have ever had. When I had asked her the initial question of what brings her comfort, she said that she doesn't often seek to reexperience things. I, of course, am someone who constantly does this, so I was surprised. I find a sort of comfort in the recollection of good memories. Other times I do it to see how I've grown as a person. How my tastes have changed. 

Marie instead ascribed the word comfort to reading fanfic. She said that there was something familiar and predictable about them that she enjoyed. "It’s fairly easy to find things in the genre I’m looking for and the already established characters means I can easily start reading," she said. I asked her if nostalgia had played a role in her enjoyment, as that can be the case for me. She then told me, "I don’t think nostalgia plays into it, beyond some fics that I like to reread occasionally. I’m actually not super affected by nostalgia, and generally try to avoid media that tries to evoke it. Even more, I kind of subconsciously avoid rewatching stuff because I have a weird fear of old media that I used to like not living up to my current expectations."

I sat back in my chair and thought for a moment. I think one of the many perks that come with a friendship is access to a new set of eyes, and moments where I get to see through them are a privilege. I asked if she instead found more comfort in the community aspects of gaming. Things like multiplayer games or just simply watching someone else indulge in a piece of art she adores. She agreed.

While stories and vast virtual worlds can provide enough distraction, there is always going to be a feeling of community that comes with gaming. Whether it be an actual multiplayer game or simply chatting about them with someone. Marie's perspective made me think about our relationship. How we've grown closer over the years. Much of that lends itself to games. We've worked on games together, sure, but how we used to hang out in college was through a board game club we had both attended. I can thank games for a lot of things, but at the moment I'm just glad they provided a space for our  friendship to grow.

Reflection

I walked away from each talk with many thoughts. I am thankful for the people I know, and happy to have learned even more about them. In truth, this post was originally intended to be a simple, "These are my friends' favorite pieces of art," in the form of a list with some explanations. However, it quickly changed as our discussions revolved about the value of art. What it can bring to the table for different people. For Mary, art can provide stress relief or evoke memories of her childhood. For Ryan, art can move him through stories and characters. For Marie, art can be a source of connection and community. 

I feel that the systems in place are slowly trying to devalue art, to change how we engage with it. AI, social media, formulaic media concocted in a board meeting. Art's beating heart being squeezed and bled until it slows. What those in power don't see is how stubborn artists truly are, and how necessary their work is to human existence. Art is expression, representation, and connection. It binds us together, holds us close. This post of course gave me a lot to think about regarding how people can engage with art, but also why I write in the first place. Every day I wake up, check the news, and feel my soul dim. Bluntly put, it feels like we live in hell. However, when I write, I feel the weight of the horrors become far more bearable. I feel that I am able to express my whirlwind of emotions and sort of join hands with every other creative trying to keep their heads above water. Most importantly, I hope that maybe, just maybe, someone will read something I wrote and find some form of comfort in it.

"The artist deals with what cannot be said in words.
The artist whose medium is fiction does this in words. 
The novelist says in words what cannot be said in words."
- Ursula K. Le Guin, The introduction of The Left Hand of Darkness

Edited by Marie Bogdanoff