The Fragility of Male Ego

In 2014, the misogynist movement named GamerGate was born through various websites such as 4chan and 8chan. It initially targeted game developer Zoe Quinn after their ex-partner made false accusations that Zoe traded sexual favors for positive reviews of their game Depression Quest. As it persisted, the movement began rejecting any form of diversity in games and aimed to harass even more marginalized developers for years to come. I was young at this time and not as deeply online as I am now, so GamerGate's presence escaped me for years. However, the damage lasted long enough for it to still be a thorn in the side of the industry today. I've watched friends be bullied and threatened off of platforms by virtue of being women, people of color, or just being inclusive. There's a slew of people online that cling to a "gamer" identity so closely that it's become broken. Meaningless. If anything, it has become synonymous with the fragile male ego. They cry out for games to be devoid of "politics" and have slid firmly into what is now the "anti-woke" movement. No protagonists of color, no non-traditional gender depictions, and no male vulnerability. Men must be awesome, violent, and save the day. They must be the ultimate wish fulfillment.

Of course, also buff. Just rippling abs.

There's a pressure, deep down, that a lot of men feel. To be perfect. To be strong. To provide. Failure is a weakness, and weakness has no place in a man. To be challenged is to be threatened. A threat to be exposed for being wrong, making mistakes, misjudging. Insecurities start ravaging the male psyche leaving this emotionless vehicle for someone else to manipulate. The fascist billionaires in power right now want you to be insecure. They want you to lash out. They want you to believe it's everyone's fault but yours.

It's the immigrants.

It's the "lazy" poor.

It's women.

So, with sweeping fascism and a hefty shift back to traditional ideas of gender in the zeitgeist, how have games responded over the years? Have they given into the demands of the lonely, insecure men online? For some, no. In fact, there are many that continue to challenge them.

Which, honestly, good.

Purpose and Emotion

Trigger Warning: mentions of assault/abuse, racism, sexism, and homophobia

Growing up, there is a constant desire to fit in somewhere. To find purpose. When I was young, my dad constantly pushed the traditional ideal qualifications for being a man. If I hurt myself, I was scolded for crying or told to walk it off. When I was bullied in fourth grade, I was told to fight the bully and taught how to throw a punch. I watched war movies, played war games, and participated in sports (specifically Tae Kwon Do in an effort to teach me how to handle future bullies). I was placed into a box of how I could present myself. I've known many men that have had similar experiences, especially growing up in such a wild time period that was the 2000s. A period of hyper fixation on the military, the fighting man. Plus the ableism, fatphobia, and homophobia that riddled conversations between kids in school. As I became a teen, shooter games became a very popular topic of conversation amongst my guy friends. Of course, many were largely propaganda pieces but there was one in particular that stuck out. One that adopted a marketing campaign slogan "make America Nazi-free again" in 2017, the year Donald Trump began his first presidential term.

In Wolfenstein 2: The New Colossus, protagonist BJ Blazkowicz has the outward appearance of the most typical male protagonist and surely would draw the eyes of any GamerGaters based on that alone. He's a white, buff, square-jawed American soldier. However, the game begins with a flashback to BJ's childhood, where his mother, Zofia, comforts BJ after he's beaten by his father, Rip. The game cuts to the present, where BJ is dying, asking the memory of his mother if he was "righteous and just" enough to deserve heaven. This is followed by another flashback in which BJ is hiding from Rip, who is angry over BJ spending time with a black girl. Zofia defends BJ, begging Rip before eventually scolding him for his business failings, and that is the true root of his lashing out. Rip exclaims, "You have no idea what it is to suffer like I do," and hits Zofia, knocking her unconscious. The player takes control of BJ for the first time as he emerges from his hiding place. Their task is to avoid his father for as long as they can in a confined room, with nothing but pots and vases to throw at him. Rip eventually catches BJ, calling him "weak." He ties BJ up in the basement, strapping a gun into his hand that's pointed at his childhood dog. Rip talks of how it is "kill or be killed" out in the world and that there people seeking to "rob the white man" and it's "on us to straighten out the queer." The player is forced to shoot, but if they intentionally miss the dog, Rip takes the gun and calls BJ "feeble just like your mother" before shooting the dog himself. Mercy and empathy are things that Rip likens to being feminine, as he often compares BJ to his mother when he refuses violence.

Rip represents how far insecurities can take someone so reliant on that little box of traditional masculinity. He's obsessed with not seeming weak, which again, is synonymous with failure to him. This manifests into his bigotry, his violence, and his idea of what it takes to succeed. In a later flashback scene, BJ wakes up from a nightmare to see Rip sitting at the edge of his bed. "Son I have tried reasoning with you. I've tried smacking sense into you till the cows come home and nothing is working," Rip says. He has reached the edge of his box.

Many of these flashbacks appear as BJ wrestles with both death and being an expectant father. As the game progresses, he's often presented with strong examples of motherhood, while recalling his poor perceptions of fatherhood. Zofia showed BJ empathy and comfort, how important these things are in raising a child. Grace Walker, a black revolutionary turned resistance leader, has an infant daughter whom she fights to craft a better world for, as she has experienced cruelty both during the Nazi rule and before. Anya, BJ's partner, is pregnant throughout the game. Both Grace and Anya participate in violence, showing what would typically be described as traditionally male definitions of strength. They are vulgar, they shoot guns, they are seen in positions of power and influence. BJ spends the game asking himself what he's fighting for. He obviously hates Nazis, but war is taxing. BJ is aging and has been fighting for years. At some point, pure hate can only get you so far. It's the women, the mothers, that fight alongside him that provide him with a newfound motivation.

"Monsters did this." - BJ Blazkowicz.

"Not Monsters. Men." - Grace Walker.

When BJ confronts Rip later in the game, Rip asks what BJ wants from him. BJ replies, "I wanted you to treat me like I mattered." And that's the crux of it all, isn't it? So much of what young men are taught involves devaluing the most human parts of themselves. Don't cry. Don't fail. Don't feel. Shove everything so deep inside until they become a shell housing somebody else's expectations. Vessels for evil, like Rip or so many GamerGaters, that place blame everywhere but within. 

A constant struggle for me personally is unlearning the things my dad instilled in me. Every so often I find these muddy footprints he left in the corridors of my mind. Doorways he broke into. Places I have to clean, repair. I see a lot of that within BJ too. Within many of us. 

Reputation and Redemption

One repeated trend in gaming the damsel in distress. The idea that the male hero has to save the helpless woman. The most famous example is the Mario games, where Princess Peach is often kidnapped and held captive for Mario to save. At its core, it appeals to a male fantasy of saving women, and that strength will be rewarded by a woman's affection. In modern colloquial terms, this could be likened to an incel's (involuntary celibate) thought process. The idea that women are objects of desire, prizes to be won, and helpless. That men are, by default, owed their attention. To contrast this, Red Dead Redemption 2 has women with far more agency that cause positive change in the main character.

Arthur Morgan, the primary protagonist, is an ailing cowboy trying to navigate the decline of the wild west and the breaking up of his found family, Dutch's Gang. In the beginning, the gang saves a woman named Sadie Adler from a rival gang that murdered her husband and took over their cabin in the mountains. Sadie is understandably broken afterwards, struggling to talk to other gang members and often opting to be left alone. Eventually she begins working in the camp, contributing to what is often considered "woman's work" such as cooking or cleaning. Sadie clashes with the camp cook over him forcing the labor on her, finally throwing down her tools and screaming at him. She asks Arthur to take her with him into town, which he obliges. This leads to her reading a letter the camp cook asked them to post for him, in which he writes to his Aunt about how famous he is and how many suitors he has, laying his insecurities on the table for the player to see. This tangentially relates to the way Rip acts in The New Colossus, in which a man so concerned with ego and reputation as a man that they would lie and carve out a false narrative for themselves to feel better about their own personal insecurities. Of course, the camp cook's letter is far less consequential than what Rip does to Zofia and BJ.

Sadie is taken into town and handles some of the shopping while Arthur runs some errands of his own. When he returns to their wagon, he finds that she has shed her dress for a button-up shirt, pants, and boots. With a gun strapped to her waist, she directs a male general store employee as he places items in their wagon. From then on, Sadie becomes a far more active participant in the heists, adventures, and fights ahead. She pushes Dutch towards confronting the rival gang that killed her husband. She convinces Arthur to break John, the protagonist of the preceding game, out of prison. She helps John and Abigail both escape and avenge Arthur's death in the game's epilogue. She has power, influence, and is not the helpless damsel the beginning of the game led us to believe.

In a gang that is rife with infighting, Arthur finds himself placing his trust in the women he's surrounded by most. Mary Beth, one of the gang members, often sits with Arthur to provide advice. Sadie gives Arthur a shove when he needs it. Abigail, another member, encourages him to help others, despite grudges or frustrations. His use for money or some lavish life on some faraway land dissipates. His purpose becomes just improving the lives around him. The lives that stuck by him all of those years despite all his transgressions.

One series of missions involves Arthur assisting his ex-girlfriend Mary and her family, one that didn't approve of their engagement many years beforehand. After helping her brother escape the influence of a cult and helping her confront her father about his gambling and drinking abuses, the player can choose to accompany Mary on an outing as friends. They watch a show together. Afterwards, he escorts her to the tram and she asks if it's too late for them to explore a future together. Arthur admits he wishes to run away with her, but he has to help his deteriorating Gang survive itself. She calls the idea a "pretty dream" and boards the tram, marking the final time Arthur and Mary see each other. Arthur dies single, physically frail, and beaten by one of the main villains. A nightmare for GamerGaters if I've ever seen one. To them, he's supposed to get the girl, shoot his way through problems, and ride off into the sunset in a typical western fashion. Yet, Red Dead Redemption 2 isn't concerned with any of that. Instead, it's far more concerned with the word that lies within its title, redemption.

Arthur Morgan spends much of his time lamenting his past actions, asking himself what kind of man he is. The gang's leader, Dutch, becomes entranced by the manipulative antagonist Micah, who is one of the more recent gang additions and is found responsible for the gang's trouble with the law. Dutch is concerned with reputation, clinging to power he's become addicted to. Micah dribbles honey into his ear in the form of affirmations. 

He pushes Dutch further towards this notion of being viewed as a savior, a strong guardian of his people. Dutch has the affections of a woman he doesn't care for and the loyalty of people he finds expendable. He's a representation of how fragile the male ego truly is. 

Dutch cracks so easily by the end of the game, lashing out in anger or just being at a loss for words, which for him is unheard of given how he's a talkative con man. Arthur has a front row seat to this, and feels the direct consequences of Dutch's failures as a leader. All that's left is for him to question everything he's done under Dutch's leadership. He's beaten poor people for money, stolen indiscriminately to pay for an escape to a place that changes constantly. West, North, Tahiti. At one point, Arthur says to Dutch that "the world has changed. They don't want folks like us no more." 

The second half of the game involves Arthur redefining himself. Not by loyalty to Dutch and a need to provide, but to help people purely for the sake of it. He takes responsibility, admits his faults. He wants to leave everything in a better place. To die at peace. Unfortunately, it took a diagnosis to push Arthur to this point, but the game hopes to plant the idea in the player's brain that it's never too late to be good. To change. To make a difference. Arthur wasn't a broken man, he just became a better one.

Be a Man, or Don't

There's a lot to learn from art, and games are no exception (do NOT start "are games art" discourse again, I swear to god). While so many perpetuate the masculinity box, so many challenge it, breaking its walls down. What does it mean to be a man? Well, whatever you want. It's a spectrum. A vast collection to pick and choose from, crafting your own representation. The rules are malleable. I hated the man my father wanted me to be. I hated punching that bully. I hated doing sports. I put up with all of it because that was the expectation. I didn't know better. Then art showed me what could be. 

My favorite movie growing up was Mulan, a movie with a protagonist that finds herself struggling to fit into the expectations of womanhood and manhood. One of the songs in the movie, "I'll Make a Man Out of You," is about all of the absurd expectations that come with being a man, contrasted by the realities of how many don't meet them. It was a formative movie, and one I think of a lot even now. Then, as I grew, I met people that continued to show me that gender isn't so one note. As I said, it's all a spectrum and a series of labels that I can use however I wish to present myself. I'm a man. A man that I'm creating in my own image.

The men participating in the GamerGate movement aren't just damaging those around them, but also themselves. It restricts how they can view themselves. It places unnecessary pressures to act a certain way and when conditions aren't met, they think they've failed. That they're weak. That they aren't real men. One of the main takeaways I hope for any person reading this is that if you want to be a man, then you are one.

That's it!

You don't have to act a certain way. You don't have to get in the box. You can just be. There's no good man or bad man in that sense. Those adjectives are reserved for your ability to hold empathy. To care for others. To make a better world for those around you.